In a time where I worked night and day and thought, I could not think straight any longer, RA became the one gratification, the one light to shine through all that difficult work.
Some call me crazy for doing what I do – and I most certainly will not contradict them. I could have a much easier position somewhere, doing what I am told from 9 – 6 and going home to watch TV and to turn my head off with the only thought, which adventure sport I have not tried yet and to what prestigious place to go for the next holidays.
No, my work is almost finished and it is perfect ;o)
Please forgive – I am absolutely and utterly biased, but now it is as it should be.
All, people will recognize, will be:
The finished project looks as it should – what was all the fuss about?
The fuss of me working myself crazy, using RA abominably to keep my thoughts somewhat consistent and confined to my head.
Poor (mis-)used man (I don't really envy him for all the burden I place upon him), but he for me was the reason to believe in me, to go on to work, till I was content with the result, not till what others told me only could be reached.
He was the reason to grab out for perfection, to believe that perfection even was possible in our faulty world.
For this I need RA and his ‘being perfect’ for me in my life. He makes me believe in the existence and reachability of perfection and especially the perfection of the world as it is, while the world with all its many faults and hardships often lets us overlook its overall and breathtaking beauty.
This 'perfection' does not mean RA has to do or be what I want him to be, as you might think would be necessary for him to be 'perfect' in my eyes. No, does the world ever do what I want or be as small as I could get my brain to imagine it? ;o)
Phiuhhh, .... - A lot of work is done, a lot of problems solved, a lot of more problems and work wait to be done .... ;o)
But with the help of this motivation in my life, it all is much easier:
RA seems to take all the burden I place upon him
with a smile ;o)