Tuesday, 28 June 2011

CDoart Pre-occupied ... with Richard Armitage

I should do a mountain of work for my little business, but can't get my head off the RA-Birthday topic.

The virus of this heavily contagious influenza really caught me.
This is also the reason, why I could not get my next "Intrigue" part out in time. Sorry!
It is ready, but I did not manage to get it into the computer. I am working to make up for it!!!

And now the reason why:

I have been busily working with Darlingdarling, to set up a website with a blog to centrally collect all the fan-support for Richard Armitage's "Richard III" project.
The first draft of the page with the petition for Richard III. can be found here:
KingRichardArmitage



Please give the page and petition your support, please participate and make the collective effort public.
An important information is, the signatures collected remain private and the mail-addresses will not be used in any way to spam you with advertisements. They are kept securely and will only be handed over, if Richard Armitage or his certified agent wish to use them in a way to further his cause with film investors, producers, etc.
Darlingdarling and I will keep you updated on the number of signatures collected.

Please also support Calexora with her wonderful idea for a fan-book for Richard Armitage's 40. Birthday. She collects, designs and organises it so admirably and I must add is very patient and helpful (!!! Thank you !!!).
She agreed to let me and Darlingdarling announce the petition-effort to Richard Armitage in our Birthday messages.  
What great heart and understanding for shy fans Calexora has ;o)

Her collective viewing and discussion of "North & South" will begin tomorrow, Wednesday 29th of June, 2011.


Darlingdarling and I will do our best to integrate fan-wishes, ideas and suggestions into the King Richard Armitage page to make it a mirror of the community effort this support for Richard Armitage and his film-project "Richard III." really is.

Thank you !

Sunday, 26 June 2011

100. Post - Celebrations !!!

The 100. Post


I cannot really believe it myself. What did I always talk about?
Oh, one person and one person only ;o)
That must really be an exceptional person to write 100 blog posts about, considdering I do not even know him.
I am not even the only blogger writing about this person.
There are lots of wonderful blogs, communities, forums, tweets, facebook fan pages, etc. out there, all for this one person.
(I do not even want to start a list here, as this post likely would never come to an end ;o)

That person really must be a miracle, and yes, in my opinion he is:

Richard Armitage


Source: www.Armitage-Online.ucoz.ru

At first I wanted to include Champagne and glasses to celebrate, but is there a better way to celebrate than with a picture of Richard Armitage himself?
He is much more dangerous and headier than Champagne...

Friday, 24 June 2011

Intrigue - Part 3.3: No Lucas With Ruth



By reading any further, you state, that you are at least 18 years old.

The following content contains violence and situations, which might be offensive for some readers.
So be warned and do not read on, if James Bond like situations do not appeal to you.





After once again a sleepless night filled with restless pictures from his past and the begging face of Lucas, Harry in the morning went to the door of his house to pick up the morning mail.

One letter caught his attention, lying directly on top of the rest of the letters. It was without stamp and address. Someone must have brought it just moments before, as he had heard the mail arrive just about ten minutes ago, while he had brewed his coffee.

When he took it up together with the rest of the mail, he felt some kind of hard object in it through the heavy white paper of the envelope. He rushed to the door and looked out, if he could determine someone leaving from his house. But no one was there.

When he closed the door behind him, he put down the newspaper and some further letters and advertisements on a side-table. He was too impatient to search for a letter opener or even to go into the kitchen to find a knife to open the letter and tore it open with his fingers.

A card fell out. Not any card, but his security card for Mi-5. Utterly alarmed, he went around the house and searched for signs of a break in, but could detect nothing unusual. He went to where he had placed the card last night together with his wallet and there the card lay as he had left it, the card he had brought back home yesterday. When he took it up, he could clearly read the name imprinted on it: Beth Bailey.

Had she recognized that they had mixed their cards and wanted to give back his card? But why not come in. She would not have any means to get back into MI-5 now without any card.

And then sudden realization washed over him. Beth did not want to get back into MI-5. She must have gotten all the information she wanted, when she now openly announced having had his card.

It was very unlikely that he would see her again.

Beth now was one more of his many failures. He should not have listened to Lucas to let her remain on the grid after her betrayal. But remorse came too late now. He searched his brain to dermine, when the card-swap could have taken place. They had had coffee yesterday, or had the swap been earlier? He could not be certain. He had been much too distracted since he had discovered that Lucas was still alive.

Did Beth work for Lucas all along? Did they have any personal connection? What was the goal of them? He knew they had not had any previous connection, as he knew Beth’s back-story. At least here he was sure that whatever went on between the two of them had started after their first adventure on that cargo-ship.

Harry was disturbed in his thoughts by the insistent ringing of his telephone. James Bennett, a colleague from MI-6, called. They would make all the inquiries and researches into his former cases. His presence at MI-5 was not required. When Harry still offered to come in, he repeated: “Your presence is not required and not wanted. So stay at home and enjoy your time.”

Harry harrumphed. Enjoying one’s day when the whole MI-6 was trying to find something incriminating in his past was not very likely. How could he enjoy his time under those circumstances?

Harry let it go and hung up the phone. He would need neither Beth’s nor his own card to re-enter the MI-5 building. Though, involuntarily or voluntarily, Beth had given him an opportunity to still get access, in case he wanted to, by leaving him her own card. At least for a short while, till they would recognize that she was missing and would cancel her access permission, as they surely had already done with his.



He would use the spare time he now had, to look through the files Lucas had had access to. He had not been able to concentrate on them, though he had tried several times during his sleepless night.

Harry filled his cup with fresh coffee and started to go through the files on his computer. He wanted to determine a pattern or a topic which might have been of interest to Lucas. But he could not make out anything. There were files about politicians, companies, numerous bank files. But the contacts were splattered all over the political scale, contained different economic branches and the contacts even were spread all over the world. Petro-chemical industry, machine manufacturers, farming conglomerates, biological laboratories, bankers, IT- and security companies, hotel chains, small and big companies, all kinds of companies were involved. The persons appearing in the files were as hard to get into one line as the companies were.

Suddenly one file popped up, which he knew well. The Nightingale file Ruth had prepared to detect the involvement of the former home secretary.

Lucas had known about that? That was not good. Harry had intentionally kept that information from him. Besides Ruth no one else knew about the real circumstances around the home secretary’s death and especially about his involvement in it. And now - Lucas must have figured out the happenings. No wonder Lucas had not trusted him enough to tell him about his own intentions, when he in return had not revealed such an important incident happening during Lucas’ promotion to become section chief.

He thought about Ros. Would he have trusted her in a similar situation? He was quite sure he would have. But with Lucas ...? Their friendship and trustful working together from before Lucas’ imprisonment in Russia just never had been re-established after his return.

Lucas had changed. He had become a grim, efficient machine, not the fun-loving, joking colleague any longer, he had been before Russia. Not that Lucas had been not effective and hard working before, but the easy going smile, always so ready to be on his face, was missing since his experiences in Russia.

He should have talked to him, really talked to him amongst friends, offered him an open ear to listen to what he had to tell about his past.

Now it was too late to feel remorse. He would have to find out, what had lead to Lucas’ behaviour all on his own now.

Harry turned back to the files on his computer.



From the files Harry opened, one thing was clear to him. As randomly assorted as they looked, they all had one thing in common. They were extremely important for world economy, so for some reason or other they were well chosen to get specific information. There was nothing accidental in their selection as he first had thought. He had even the impression Lucas in a way wanted him to see what he had researched.

He at first had thought Lucas had chosen some needed files and selected others around them to distract from the original purpose, as he had done last evening. But the one thing that connected all files was, they had importance for world economy and had the potential to destroy governments, not only single one’s, but around the whole world, without exception.

Lucas must have had some intentions with those files, but whatever they were, Harry had no idea.

He no longer believed Lucas had escaped to settle down somewhere in a hidden and peaceful spot in the world with all that money he had got from the Chinese. He more and more got the impression that Lucas was out there to settle some unfinished business and the impact of his actions would be recognizable around the world. Harry just had no idea what business that was and where to get hold of Lucas.


Harry worked all day on the files, but did not get any further in his research. He also had been right; Lucas had had access to all necessary information to find out the truth about Albany. Lucas had known all along that he handed over useless material to the Chinese. But still he had played the game and had lead Vaughan on.

Vaughan – perhaps he should go and look at the files from that angle? What connection did Vaughan have to Lucas and why did Lucas let him believe he played along with his blackmailing attempt? Had Lucas only wanted the money from the Chinese? Or had he wanted the money to now use it for his own purpose?

Harry at least had the impression that he had gotten somewhere, though he still had no idea where all those hints were leading.

When the doorbell rang, he was interrupted in his musings. He went to the door and, as he had expected, Ruth stood in front of him.

“Is it already that late?” he asked. He recognized that it was already dark outside.

Ruth looked at him and saw his dishevelled state. “Late? Late for what?”

“Oh, late for lunch.”

“Yes, most definitely. It is after 7 p.m. If you did not even have lunch so far, you should really get something to eat.”

With those words she took up a large bag standing behind her and smiled at him.

“The print-outs and ... I chose Chinese for this special occasion.”

Harry let her in and the fine smell of the Chinese dishes filled the air.

“You accept then?” he asked, still not quite believing and observing Ruth doubtfully.

Ruth went into the kitchen, put the dishes out from the bag and handed him the immense bag, still quite full with loads of files and papers.

“Yes, this time.”

Harry wanted to embrace her, but she turned to get some bowls out from his cupboards, preparing the meal with a bright smile on her face. She laid out the plates, while Harry went to light the candle. He opened a bottle of wine after consulting with her, which one she preferred.

When they settled down to start their meal, Ruth pushed a small package over to him.
“You should give it to me properly, Harry.”

“Why did you change your mind, Ruth?” Harry asked her, not answering to her request or taking up the package immediately.

Ruth gave him a half sad smile. “You know, a dead man told me, to take what is on offer and grab my chance for happiness. And though he might have been wrong in other aspects, Lucas was right in this one.”

“Lucas changed your mind?” Harry asked surprised.

“Yes, in a way he did. He did not change my feelings for you. They were there beforehand, so obvious for him to easily see. But he gave me back my belief that I deserved a bit of happiness. I think when I left for Greece those years back, I manifested in my head, that happiness was something I would not deserve to get and would have to sacrifice my feelings for the happiness of others. – Lucas taught me, that I deserved a bit for myself, because otherwise all world would trample over me, use me as pawn and not even be a bit better or happier about it.”

“Thank you, my dear”, Harry whispered reverently.

Harry silently took up her hand and slid a ring over her finger, taking up her hand and gently pressing a kiss on the back of her hand.

When Harry looked up and into Ruth’s eyes, all thought about food was totally forgotten for a long while.

After their meal, they mostly shared silently, sinking deeply into each other’s eyes, and kissing in between, they took up their wine glasses and settled in Harry’s living room.

There together on the couch, he held Ruth’s hand and slowly started:
“Not a dead man changed your mind, Ruth.”

When Ruth looked up startled about his words, Harry hurriedly continued:
“..., but a very alive one. Lucas North is not dead, or at least the man we know as Lucas North or John Bateman, or him, you know, Lucas...”

Harry was a bit embarrassed about his stammering.

“He did not kill himself?” Ruth asked, still not fully believing, what Harry just had told her.
“How did you find out?”

“The lab tests. Lucas must have prepared the dead man’s body to replace him, to leave him enough time to get away safely.”

“What a clever boy. Lucas, Lucas, ...” Ruth wondered. “He really played us.”
After a while, Ruth added: “Who else knows? I did not hear of a search for him in the office today.”

“Nobody knows, except Henley. And he will keep it to himself. All documentation is sealed. The cremation already was done today and the ceremony will be next week. There will be no sign of the truth to detect any longer.”

“Why did you keep silent about it? Wouldn’t it be better to hunt him down and eliminate him to prevent him to causing more trouble?”

“No, I don’t think he is out to cause trouble, or at least I think he has bigger goals than just to pose trouble. – I want to find out more about his motives and intentions. This is the reason why I sent you the DVD-ROM with all those files on it.”

“Then you do trust Lucas, don’t you?”

“I am not sure. He so intensely asked for my help. I don’t know what to make of him. At least I want to find out, what is the truth about him. If the news was out that he is still alive, all the world’s agents would try to hunt him down and there would be no way to interrogate him or even get him alive. No, it is better that everyone believes he is dead.”

Ruth nodded in full agreement.

“He was so caring, even friendly during my abduction, even trying to make me feel comfortable. It is hard to make him out. – You are absolutely right, we have to give him time and in the meantime find out more about his motives on our own. I have printed out most of the files. So far, I could not make out a pattern or connection between them.”

Ruth put the pile of paper on the living-room table and showed them to Harry.

“Oh, I have to tell you about what happened on the grid today. Beth is ill. She called in today and excused herself. Dimitri will be transferred to MI-6 and already got his go to join another department there. He will not come back to your department, even if the investigations go in your favour. Tariq remains there to help the research team of the MI-6 to get access to all files and as we expected, you and I are out, on temporary holiday, as they so friendly called it today. I will not have to go back there tomorrow.”

Harry acknowledged this by saluting to Ruth with his wineglass.
“That leaves us enough time for our own plans, even if we cannot leave the country for our honeymoon. Where do you want to spend it, by the way?”

He smiled at Ruth and gently took her into his arms for a warm and happy kiss, which Ruth gladly returned.





=> "Intrigue"-Page                                   =>  Next chapter 3.4 (Coming soon)

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

King Richard Armitage

Richard Armitage and King Richard III

- a project I would really love to see become reality in whatever form Mr. Armitage might want it or is able to get it produced -
For one, I do love to see Richard Armitage performing, but even when he does decide to not take a role in the play himself, I still would like to see his ideas and his attention for detail at work for the creation of a 'new' history about king Richard III.

That we do honour our 'hero', that he does deserve to be king, at least we as fans know for sure.
That he has the right qualities to be and portray a king, here I am sure that the next photo will be able to convince even the last doubters ;o)

---
Sorry - Picture has been deleted !!!
The used crown was a Wittelsbacher crown which
because of bequest regulations only can be used in direct context.
---


(The picture of the crown is from www.residenz-muenchen.de and is a Bavarian kings crown.
Source of the RA picture is: www.RichardArmitageNet.com
)

DarlingDarling has set up a new Facebook page "Richard III for Richard Armitage" to support Richard Armitage in his efforts for the film about "Richard III".
She as a rather new fan asks for our help to support and to spread the word about this effort to help Richard Armitage via that method.

Please join in and lets see, if we fans really can change the world to make it better, at least a tiny bit for Richard Armitage's film ;o)

It is a kind of birthday present (you know, the still secret one ;o)

Thank you !!!

Intrigue - Part 3.2: No Lucas Without Beth



By reading any further, you state, that you are at least 18 years old.

The following content contains violence and situations, which might be offensive for some readers.
So be warned and do not read on, if James Bond like situations do not appeal to you.





Beth Bailey walked through the offices. Harry had held a meeting with them all and announced that his time as head of the department would soon come to an end and investigations into his past assignments would start tomorrow.

Beth did not expect a brilliant future at MI-5 for herself now. She was rather new and the investigation against Harry would not cast a good light onto her own background, especially after her ‘friendship’ with Lucas North, who alone she had to thank that she was still a member of the section.

Lucas North - what a liar, what an illusionist.

Beth doubted, that what they had been told by Harry of the occurrences and the results of his interrogation had been all there was to the story. Lucas was such a talented man and the story line with Maya just did not ring true to her. She always had the picture of him in her mind, when on the run close to the airfield he had shot into the wheels of their vehicle and not tried to shoot them. Even when he had held a gun to her head in that park she had never had the impression he willingly wanted to hurt her. He cared for her, for the team, for Harry who’s opinion he valued over anything else.

That absolutely did not meet with a John Bateman trying to kill Harry on the roof of a building.

Her long years in private security had taught her to listen to her inner voice and that voice told her now, Lucas had had no reason to lead Harry away from the grid to let him live. Why kill himself when he could kill his opponent? An opponent he had lead to leave all security behind and who was absolutely defenceless? If he had felt hatred towards him, why had he prepared everything for Harry’s demise and then killed himself?

So fine a colleague she had Lucas experienced to be, when he had supported her through her first assignment for MI-5, she still had the impression he had absolutely been in total control of every step of the game. He knew what he did and calculated all his options meticulously.

She had seen how he had craved adventure and had excelled in leading them all along a merry chase, when he had abducted Ruth. That was not a man who did not know his identity or was likely to break down the next moment and kill himself. This was a calculating, well functioning machine, planning far ahead and seeing possible options far in advance. Leaving a love interest behind for 15 years and then breaking down after seeing her picture again, as Harry had told them about the back story, just was totally unbelievable for her. Lucas, the Lucas she had known, would have found a way out, a way nobody would have been the wiser, if he wanted to. But the question for her was more, why had he not wanted to contact his love of his life again and waited 15 years to do so?

No, she had to be certain about Lucas’ death and for that she needed a certain priority access card. She would borrow it for a while and afterwards give it back. To hide her own tracks she would swap her card with Harry’s, so if he did not directly look at the card, nobody would notice the temporary switch. They could have accidentally gotten hold of the wrong card while drinking coffee together and she would make sure that there was enough of a distraction to make that likely.

The swap went without complications, though Beth recognized, partially responsible for her success was, that Harry looked absolutely devastated and was distracted enough to do not care about the security card at all.

With Harry’s card hidden in the folds of her jacket, she went down to the laboratory, where the forensic department was situated. It was late already. She had seen Harry leaving the building some time ago, not recognizing, that he used her card at the doors instead of his own. She would have to swap it back next time they met.

The light in the laboratory already was switched off and when she entered, a flash of light welcomed her, when the lights reacting to movement, went on. Good to know that she was alone in the area. So nobody would question her or ask for a signed permission for her being allowed to enter.

She knew where the bodies were kept, as Harry had brought her and Dimitri down with him to examine the dead body of the Lucas-replacement they had shot during the operation. She had not seen that man before and his face had not meant anything to her. She had no idea where Lucas might have found this man willing to risk his life for him.

So now Beth was here again and searched for Lucas. What a strange feeling it was, to know, her colleague and admired helper was dead. She knew from her private assignments, that attachments were not helpful in the business, but still, she had had the impression that a kind of friendship and prosperous rivalry had formed between her and Lucas. She would have given everything to help him. Why did he not come to ask for her help, when his life fell apart? Had he not seen, how much she was willing to help him after he had helped her reach her cherished goal to remain on the grid? He must have known that he could depend on her.

First she opened the lid, where Lucas’ replacement was kept. Empty ...
That was strange! The report from the full autopsy was only due tomorrow. Where was the body then? Possibly cremated already...

Beth continued to search the occupied lids. Fortunately, the names were placed clearly visible in shrink-wrapped name tags at each lid.

Here, Lucas North.

Beth took a deep breath to get the courage to open the lid. Slowly she drew at the handle. Nothing. She pulled stronger - still nothing.

Who had locked the lid? That was quite unusual. All of Beth’s suspicions were up again.

She searched for a lock, but there was nothing on the lid. They must have some kind of external mechanism. Beth searched the room and found a small control desk in the corner of the room. There she found the numbers for the lids, but when she tried Lucas’ number there was still no reaction, though other lids opened without hesitation. On the control desk she found a slit for the MI-5 access cards. She put Harry’s card in and now the required lid swung open without further resistance.
Good that she had swapped cards. She now was quite sure that her access would not have sufficed to get anywhere near that room, let alone to Lucas’ body.

But why was it so secret, that they had closed down the access? Not that they were usually careless with the bodies, but locking it in, when already the access for members on the grid to the laboratory had to be signed by at least two authorities?

Her curiosity awakened, she eagerly went to the open lid, when otherwise she would have felt hesitancy to go and see a dead body, though accustomed to them she might be by now. She still had not lost her respect for the unmoving, empty shell of a former vivid, living creature.

She saw the tattoos and her hope sank. Oh no, it was Lucas! But when she got closer, she saw the watery end of fading tattoos and smaller body frame of a weaker and less in form body than Lucas had been. When she came to the face, she shrank back. But the recognizable part showed one thing clearly to her. That person lying dead in front of her certainly was not Lucas. If she could have a guess she would say it was the missing Lucas-replacement, but there she could not be certain about that.

She now searched for other clearly distinguishable signs on the body and found dissolved tattoo edges where the forensic must have done some tests. So one further thing became clear to her, the forensic must have determined that it was not the real Lucas North. And if he knew, she was quite sure that Harry Pierce knew that as well. Who else was in on that secret piece of information was unclear to her.

She closed the lid, cleaned off her potential fingerprints she might have left while trying to get the lid open, and carefully brought the room back into that state she had found it in.

Back in the grid, she now also was alone there. With determined steps she went to the bureau of Harry Pierce and turned on his computer. She searched for his last activities and found a list of copied files he had secured externally. She would try to get a further copy of them. Perhaps the access card would help her along, though she did not have the secure passwords she would need and had not the time to let a program crack the heavily secured encryption.

At least she would be able to get a printout of the filenames Harry had taken with him. Perhaps some of the files would still be in the temporary copy for the DVD-ROM, Harry had burned on the computer. Beth was lucky. As Harry had shut down the computer directly after copying the DVD-ROM, the temporary file had not been completely removed and Beth produced another copy of it, before she removed everything that would betray her ever being present in the room and left the MI-5 building.

Now Beth was ready to go.





=> "Intrigue"-Page                                   =>  Next chapter 3.3

Monday, 20 June 2011

Intrigue - Part 3.1: No Lucas - No Fun



By reading any further, you state, that you are at least 18 years old.

The following content contains violence and situations, which might be offensive for some readers.
So be warned and do not read on, if James Bond like situations do not appeal to you.





Harry Pierce walked up and down inside his office. He just had received a call from the Home Secretary. His influence did not seem to suffice to keep Harry in his position. Researches were to start tomorrow and there was an unnamed, influential group involved, demanding his at least temporary release from any office as long as researches into his affairs were going on.

Harry was not overly disturbed about this, whatever the outcome was. He had had his career and had seen lots of injustice and suffering. In lots of cases he had not been able to help or had made things even worse than they were before. It all seemed so futile to him at the moment. He would be glad to lay down his responsibilities and step back from his position.

The picture of his son popped into his mind. Retirement would leave him time to care for those he really cared for. What difference could he make here? It was as good when he left. He did not cling to his office seat. He had offered the home secretary his resignation, but he had refused once again. The home secretary had told him, Harry could do nothing better to help his opponents. But Harry did no longer care whichever way the researches went. He was tired, tired of all the sacrifices he had made for his work. His family, his wife, his son. He thought about Ros and Lucas...

He felt tired, empty, devastated and the worst part was, he felt utterly helpless.

The thought about Lucas brought back his initial intention, before the telephone call had interrupted him. He had to hurry to find out more about Lucas' real purpose behind his strange behaviour. He had to access the systems secret files before his access was restricted.

He was not sure, should he involve Tariq to help him cover his tracks inside the system? – No, he decided. That would only leave one more security risk, even if he would not tell Tariq what he was searching for.

He would use the same method Lucas had used. He could not get used to the idea to call him anything other than ‘Lucas’. His real intentions would not be hard to hide as he clearly did not know what he was searching for. Ruth had provided him with a list of all files which had been touched during Lucas’ break in. It would take him hours, if not days to get access to all of them and look them through. Fortunately his still in place full access allowed him even to copy those strictly restricted files. He would take them and would get a smokescreen in place by accessing and copying quite a number of further top secret files, which were important for national security, but Lucas never had touched. They would get all alarm bells of potential researchers on, but would not give away his real intentions.

He got to work and copied as important files as electricity supply for CCTV around Buckingham Palace. If that would not get their full attention, he did not know what else would.

After an hour he was content with the files he had selected, secured them on stick and copied them on a DVD-ROM, to be double sure. He shut down his computers and turned off the light of his office. The DVD-ROM he placed in a hard cover and packed it in an envelope he addressed to Ruth. He added a small, in soft cloth covered object, sealed the envelope and put on stamps.

Then Harry left the office altogether, not expecting to be allowed in again on the morrow. He went down to the Thames River, posted the envelope in a nearby postbox he knew was unobserved and left for his car.

At home Harry poured himself a glass of Whisky, sat down in his leather armchair and took up the newspaper. He was not really in a mood to take in today’s news or even the headlines. He sat there, hidden behind the newspaper and skipped to the obituary notices and found, what he had searched for:

Lucas North
Lucas. We regret to announce the death of Lucas, aged 36, mourned by his colleagues and friends. Private Cremation Ceremony for family and friends only on Tuesday 28th June at 2.30 pm.

Harry pressed his lips together. The cremation would already be finished by then and he doubted that many of his former colleagues and friends would appear at the ceremony. He was reminded of the fake and real funeral for Ros and remained sitting there deeply in thought, swirling his Whisky in his glass, mesmerized from the dark brown liquid. He doubted that his next night would be any better than his last had been.

During the last night nightmares had kept him awake and what he clearly remembered of them was the repeated image of Lucas begging for his trust. What had Lucas meant by that in the final interrogation? Had all been a lie to fool him, to let him go? Should he – could he believe in anything Lucas had ever said? Who was he - was he really? What kept him going, what were his intentions in joining MI-5, working hard and befriending him? Had this been the real individual behind Lucas, the easygoing friend, efficient colleague and worker, intelligent operator? Or had it all only met a purpose, a purpose unknown to him, Harry?

At least now it was official: Lucas was gone.





=> "Intrigue"-Page                                   =>  Next chapter 3.2

Sunday, 19 June 2011

How Much Does Our Past Influence Us?



Calexora had a wonderful idea to make a book with congratulations from Richard Armitage fans all over the world to send him for his 40th birthday in August this year.

Pssst... - It's still a secret ;o)


Please participate in the «Collective Greetings for Richard Armitage's 40th Birthday» to make it a symbol and visible expression of how wonderful his fandom is.

The fan community is such a lovely place for me to be in, that I will support this effort.



You will wonder a bit about the headline for this article. But I must admit, I at first had second thoughts about participating, as I had bad experiences in my past and hesitate to participate in anything where I cannot take full control of the outcome.
It is almost 5 years in the past now, but still my former boss affects my behaviour and judgement of other peoples behaviour. I even erased his company's name from my openly visible background and CV information, to get rid of him and any connection to his company.

But the power he has to influence my head still remains firm.

It almost made it impossible for me to trust enough to send in my comment for the birthday greetings, though I really love Calexora's idea.

To have to document every word you speak, every instruction you give to colleagues, as otherwise your boss, for whom you have worked for years as his assistant, solving lots of critical situations for him and working day and night for the company to flourish, would try to make you responsible for every mistake anyone makes in the company. He tried to turn round every word I said to make me responsible for mistakes someone else made because of negligence and thoughtlessness.

He even tried to start doubt and mistrust between the colleagues and had quite a fine success with one colleague who should have been working for me, but who was putty in his hands to start one intrigue against me after the other. The last year I worked there it had been hard work to keep all those intrigues under control and stay ahead of them. Fortunately I have a good nose for strange behaviour of people and do not hesitate to confront them and talk about the reasons for it. So I had been able to solve the arising problems before they could get out of hands.
But still it is an enormous work load to do your usual quite immense work load and guard your back at every step you take.

This destroyed my nervous system and when I handed in my resignation, it was the happiest of days for me. I even started smiling again, what I had not done in this company for almost two years.


The result of it all is, I must admit, that now I am an absolute control freak. What I cannot control I do not do.

So perhaps it is a good sign to give up a bit of this total control and trust Calexora with doing a fine job for our collective Birthday Greetings for Mr. Armitage!

Thank you, Calexora, for doing this and for helping me on my way of healing!



P.S.: "Intrigue" will continue on Monday ;o)