Fandom and Fellow Fans

Fandom

Response to Judiang's request and her post about Fandom (October 19th, 2011)

For some years now I am a fan of Mr. Armitage.

It is not, that I am in any way an experienced fan. Even during my adolescence, I never became a fan to experience, as Judiang so aptly describes it, the "giggly, girlish and silly" sensations of fandom.
I had to be the sensible one, the one to look after my older sister to keep in line during adolescence.

Friedrich von Schiller - Source: Wikimedia.org

The only person, I admired during that time, was Friedrich von Schiller and you will understand, that fandom to him could not easily be described as "giggly, girlish and silly", but rather thoughtful and heavy stuff for an adolescent.
I had a big poster of Friedrich von Schiller hanging over my bed. (Not the one on the right side ;o)
I also was alone with that admiration, so no fellow fans to share this experience with. All my friends and family could not understand, where I had that from ;o)

So my experience with fandom is rather limited, my knowledge about how a fan should behave not really developed. I do not expect anything from my idol - as with Friedrich von Schiller no return action could really be possible. All my fandom consisted of me researching about him, finding out more and admiring his bright concepts of thinking and ideology.
He had quite some influence on how I see the world, religion, politics, observe social behaviour, detect faults and how they could be remedied, how a person should act to better the society. In general he was an integral point in forming my critical abilities.
He was the main reason for choosing the subjects I later studied at university.

When I visited my sister at university, when she just had started studying biology, I recognized, that my approach to examine the world was a completely different one from natural sciences.
When I came to visit her at university, she had a dissected mouse on her table. Not that I swooned, I could stand that at that time. But I felt affronted, that to examine something, you had to destroy the object you wanted to learn from. I felt offended by the for me totally inadequate and stone-age approach to a living creature and research in general.
This confirmed me in my subjects of interest, which research without destroying the object of research, gaining knowledge without destroying the source.


In some way I think, this was a very formative time, also forming the way of approach I have to fandom for Richard Armitage.
I research - in history normally divided from the object of research by time - in fandom by distance to the idol - without trying to destroy, gaining knowledge without hurting, but creating an image, a knowledge, a beautiful ideological concept.
Perhaps I should not add, that my main interest at university were conspiracy theories ;o) Oh, I love a good conspiracy, to explore its foundations, effects, power and influence. This also was centered around Friedrich von Schiller in some way, so I did not really loose him on my way forward.

Source: Armitage-Online.ucoz.ru   Photographer: Joe McGorty

My admiration for Richard Armitage is in lots of ways quite similar to my research approach to Friedrich von Schiller. I never did expect contact or a reaction from him. I even mentioned here once in a comment, that I am quite protective of the concept I built and might even feel the necessity to protect it from the real person.
I know that is ungrateful of me, to suppose I would not like him on closer acquaintance, but I am quite protective of my image of him to be kept pure and intact.
I don't need to know personal stuff. That is his to keep and his to enjoy.

The first year of admiration started absolutely lonely and in secret. I knew some of his films, became interested in him through an interview about Spooks 7 and was irrevocably hooked to come back again and again. I watched fan-videos, avoided everything concerning Guy of Gisbourne meticulously and even had problems connecting him with that role.

I was absolutely content to see my idol from a distance, in film, in interviews, in fan-videos (especially coming from the learning material to do video editing). I knew there were forums about the actor, but I did not really feel intent to discuss him or plunge into learning more. To even be interested in him in such an extent was absolutely new for me. Why did I have to see him and why did he have such a calming effect on me? (I am still not sure about that and why it can keep me hooked so irrevocably, so please do not expect an answer from me here.) It took the discussion concerning videos and especially Servetus' blog, to really draw me into fandom and to discuss my admiration and 'research' with fellow fans. This was the time when I realized, that for the first time I really had developed a complete 'fan'-admiration for someone.


Slowly, I found out more in those blogs, which in consequence drew me into discovering more, about fandom and myself. For a strange reason, the forums and discussion communities never attracted me in the same way, though I registered early on. My first closer discussion and feeling the presence of a community of real people was during the second FanstRAvaganza event this year where I was invited to take part, as I had a fan-blog about Richard Armitage, which I had started in November 2010. The founding of the KingRichardArmitage site was a further main step to connect fandom to reality for me. It was a break through between aspects of my 'real' world and fandom, formerly meticulously kept separate.


Through all the time, fandom still was a rather digital experience for me, as I never met or discussed things with other fans in person. Chats are rather digital for me as well. You do not see the person you 'talk' with, but see your computer screen instead.
Friends even asked me how I could bear to be on the computer for such long times and not feel lonely. (They obviously have not discovered the lovely Armitage fan community online, to ask such a farfetched question ;o)

As I have never met other fans in person, I had no experience with fan-meetings or even the correct behaviour a fan should apply during a meeting.
So you can imagine, that I was utterly nervous last weekend, when all this came to an end and I met 'real' RA-fans. As a kind of recognition sign, I had my RA-bag with me. The funny waiters at the Victorian Tea House in Munich could not even pronounce "Armitage", our reservation name, and were not able to bring our group together, but told everyone who asked, that they had no reservation under that name and accused us that each of us had pronounced the name differently. But that is very unlikely. What real RA fan does not know how to pronounce his name ;o)
So it was a good thing to having had my bag with me to find our group.
The experience to meet people with similar interests, taste, knowledge and the same watched films as background, gave us an immediate topic to talk about, though most of us never had met before.
It was such a homogenous, friendly group, that I - normally a bit reserved and though friendly, sometimes a bit quiet in company and normally a better listener than talker - felt completely at ease in the group and felt as if I met with old friends.
I loved the meeting and now hope we can soon repeat the meeting in the Bavarian fan-group !!!


I am thinking now about all my fears beforehand with a smile. It was such an absolutely lovely experience to meet fellow RA-fans, that I can only recommend that ;o)

( I don't think we Bavarians are the only friendly exception, but the lovely rule of RA-fans ;o)

As I did not check with my fellow fans, I do not name them even with their fan-identity. Please understand that. I am always of the opinion, each fan has the freedom to reveal as much about herself as she likes and feels comfortable with. That I bubble about this lovely experience, does not mean everybody else attending the meeting needs to do the same ;o)

< < This article came into life because of a request from Judiang. She wrote, that surely I would write about this fan-experience and though that idea had not occurred to me before, when I came to think about it, it really made sense to me and is something to encourage other fans to meet as well. Also after just loosing a dear friend, it also became more of a conviction for me, to live friendships while we can. > >

In Memory of a Wonderful Historian and Friend !

Words don't make sense at the moment and could not do this wonderful friend justice. So I want to remember her with a song. The one I originally wanted, would have been more consoling, but is no longer available. This one in contrast very much represents our non-understanding and arguing with God about our given fate. It is more of a reminder of all the possibilities we have and the few we take:

In memory of a wonderful friend, who made the world a better place to live in.

I Sympathise with Guy - Unlucky Guy (Traxy)

When I heard the song, wonderfully recorded, texted and sung by Traxy, I immediately felt sympathy for Guy of Gisborne. This year I feel like I can meet his good luck ;o)

Would you believe, that I would urgently need a function in my shopping software exactly at that moment, when it just has been replaced three weeks ago in the latest update? What luck does it need to just miss the opportunity to make easy adjustments instead of miles and miles of work-arounds by a hair's breadths?
This year was a complete chaos, because every planning just turned out for naught. Every effort just smilingly exploded in my face.

Funny and absolutely chaotic year 2011. I just wonder why I still bother with planning at all. Fate just leads me around on a total spiraling chaotic route.

Good to have my steadying influence of fandom ;o)

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Don't forget - It's already

half-time for the Richard Fan-Art Event 2011

The first contributions are already coming in and are pure joy. I am looking forward to present the artists to you ;o)

Don't hesitate any longer, get your pen and scissors out and take part for our King Richard Armitage !

A Defender Like Lucas North ...

With someone on your side like Lucas North, who so effectively could solve your problems, life really seems an adventure.

Bccmee in one of her latest October-gif's brought this to the surface so well:

Do you think one moment about the poor guy getting hit? It took me a while to find out, that I never thought about him. Lucas North totally caught my attention ;o)

So now, with Bccmee's gif, Lucas smuggled himself nicely back into my dreams, to defend me in my not so pleasant, filled with technical details and rather chaotic nightmares.
That gave me the idea, that in real life Lucas would really not bear my enemies for long and it would be a swift and graceful process to solve the problem, one punch and the opponent just flies away.

Fortunately, my indirect enemies are on the other side of the world and so, as long as they do not get the ludicrous idea to get closer to me, are in quite a safe distance.
This way, I can keep my usually quite peaceful attitude towards the world. Lucas North is the only outlet I allow my aggressions ;o) so don't fear, I will not punch my opponents into their noses, however well deserving they might be.

[Sorry I can't speak too much about the problem itself, as it would reveal too much about real me. At the moment we have enough to do to check legal possibilities and closing down all security systems, as both private and business internet connections have been under attack and tried to hack at the same suspiciously convenient time. What criminal potential people develop, when they think they can gain advantage and earn the merits of another person's work. How sad that is and my sense of justice runs wild to fight for the suppressed and unjustly accused. - That is the reason why I would not be a good lawyer, as lots of people suggested to be an ideal profession for me, because I would fight for what I think is right and not for profit. I would not survive that for long ;o)]

Musings About Court and the High Sea ...

Libra (15th Century) - Source: Wikimedia.org

You will know the expression "in court and on the high sea you are in God's hands". I would only lightly disagree, as in my opinion, we always are, but especially and very obviously in those situations. Though the saying more implies that you cannot predict the outcome of your situation (but when can we ever?).
I have a very strong believe in justice and am fiercely fighting, for what I feel is right. I even punish myself, if I think I do not deserve something, e.g. a nice word or praise, which I think I did not earn.

What in contrast I entirely do not have, is a believe in the justness of our legal systems or the world in general. I do not give them credit to either better things or even be able to make things right.

So I am quite weary in being in a legal situation right now, fortunately only taking a side role, though an important one.

It makes it hard for me to concentrate on writing my intended story "Intrigue" or to write blog posts about something else, not revealing the in my opinion completely unjust accusations, hindering my business.

What makes things even worse for me is, that not only one legal system is concerned, but two in which both I set no great confidence. Both are prone to support either the rich or the outcast, but neither does defend the hard working, honest people.

But how apt to get into a legal conflict during the astrological sign of the Libra. Hopefully it predicts a well evaluated and just outcome. - You see, I don't say I want to win, as justice for me would imply that anyway ;o)
But as justice must be bought, I am not sure we can afford to go as long as we need to get justice.

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Invitation in the Birthday post for King Richard III for a Fan-Art Event with an "Extra Special" for all October participants !  Have a look, take part and have fun!