Anticipation Versus Torture

Rumours keep going round that a potential next role of RA might be "Poldark".
The long locks shown at the BAFTA event lately might also confirm this assumption.

So why am I sitting here - with all the anticipation around me and my constant hope for a new role - and so fiercely hoping that this role will not be his next project?

Because ...

... it might break my heart to se RA in this role.

There is a short and a long explanation to why that is so:

• The short one,
  I hate Poldark and what he does.
  It is unfair to himself and especially to the women who love him.
  His behaviour creates an entanglement and tragedy I can't bear to watch.
  
• Now to the long version as to why I don't like "Poldark":
  I was forced to watch it, by a sister absolutely smitten with the actor playing Poldark in a TV production.
  Not that she had been smitten by Poldark, but rather by James Bond. (While I did not care for both roles, but I obediently followed where my sister dragged me along. - I think I already had mentioned once that I as the younger sister was in the unlikely and somewhat strange position of 'chaperon' and my parents were relieved to send me along to watch out for my sister. - Not the best attest for a funny teenager time, but it was not very funny for me anyway. No fond memories of that time.
  I overcame my aversion for the film at least enough to bring my sister the video and book versions back from my school trip to London.)
  Not especially caring for the main actor, I did not much care for the whole production, but still I cried for the damning conditions and impossibility of returned love which the main female character had to endure.
  So, if I already cry for characters I don't like, imagine what I will do for the gripping performance RA can make. I will never ever come out of my tissues again!

That leaves me in a situation where I don't know what to do.
Not seeing RA or seeing him and not being able to stop crying and as a result not seeing him again, because I can't look through all my tears?

Now, what to do as a fan?
Hope that RA is not cast as the next Poldark
or wishing him well and just avoid seeing Poldark?

What a total emotional mess ...