The latest interview with Mr. Armitage (The Telegraph, 25.06.2014) about his role as John Proctor in Arthur Miller's "The Crucible" made me wonder about ...
... as Mr. Armitage is mentioning something ...
"His career in television has been assisted by the fact that women find him sexy."Mr. Armitage's answer to this is:
"I still don't get it."And here I must admit, neither do I.
You wonder now why I am a fan then.
But that aspect is the one thing, I had always wondered about right up from the beginning of my fandom.
Do I find him sexually attractive?
I just don't know.
I find him interesting and thought provoking on so many levels, I just don't know.
I think I would have to meet him in person to answer this question or even discover a potential answer to this question. But then again, as far as I know me, I would need time to determine and find out the answer.
SEXY just would never have been among the many words I would have used to describe him.
Interesting; present (I know that word will not be entirely clear put here on its own, but for me it is so significant for him); stimulating compassion, feeling, thought, understanding; in the spot and complete in a moment (what, by the way, I never feel to be); expressive; inside and outside in harmony (while I always feel to be a contradiction inside myself); and just so much more ...
So in part, he is something I admire, what makes me better in seeing, watching, observing, listening, trying to understand, ...
So, after all this, I just never get through all the fascinating aspects of him, to discover if I would be sexually attracted to him.
And I must admit, I fear to get closer to research this question, because I fear the potential sexual attraction might overshadow my other perceptions of Mr. Armitage and his artistic message.
Perhaps that is also one of the reasons why I shy away from a real life meeting, because a moment's snapshot overshadowed by my fears would dominate my other appreciations of his multitude of facettes.
And I just fear, with sexual attraction, I would want to tear him appart and it would tear me appart equally. I am not yet ready for this totality.