I am safe from my own expectations
With the safety distance of fandom between fan and idol, there is also a safety net for myself.
The fan-dream allows me to become the person I would like to be, if I were not such a complex, difficult, sensitive and diversely reacting person that I am.
In reality, I would have to cope with reactions to myself, with my efforts to prove myself, my worth, my value to others.
In fan-dream, I just can step over this preliminary and exhausting and mostly not even fulfilling experience and right get to the point of creative completion of muse and inspiration, of admiration without the connotation of weakness or the necessity to fight for a strong position in a relationship or being walked over or used as foot-rag, just because of not wanting to fight or continuously prove strength to keep up one’s position and get much needed attention.
On an emotional level, it is so healing for me, so reassuring that the world consists of more than the narrow minded fights all around.
Fandom came to me at a time where I clearly needed a positive outlook
and last and this year’s happenings in fandom strengthened my wish to focus on the positive and distance myself from destructive influences.
I am strong in the things I believe in and I fight (not against someone, but with strong effort on my side) for the things I believe in.
I no longer have the belief that I need to correct somebody, if ever I had that belief, but think only your own mind can set you free or enslave you.
Though not all and everything in the world is reachable, you won’t know if you don’t try.
For a free fandom and free space to develop and expand creativeness, for an open community allowing to try.
Signed: The radical at heart CDoart ;o)
I hope you enjoyed FanstRAvaganza 4 - which is now coming to an end.